Was cleaning out backed-up inbox and came across this, which my loving mother sent me the weekend I got my driver's license at long last.

* If your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is a day old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

* ( Read more... )

I would just like to state that the nail polish I've been using lately, ALL OF IT, is the same brand, Orly ( Read more... )

I forgot to pick my trophy wife, didn't I?

I've decided I'm not picking one.

Instead I'm going to keep a harem.


( Read more... )

I have decided, in style of the lovely Kristen, to go on a wife hunt.

That's right, true believers. By 5:00 Tuesday, one of you lucky ladies or gentleman will be my VERY OWN TROPHY WIFE.

FAQ:

"Why the hell would I do this?"
-- I can provide for ya, baby. Besides, I only require once a week, though more is appreciated.

"What would I have to do?"
-- Bear ( Read more... )

Accidentally kicked the box that's full of my dog's toys, right? And I hear this VOICE ( Read more... )

[22:23] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:23] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:23] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:23] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:23] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:23] rhapsodyinspam: hey.
[22:23] rhapsodyinspam: stop that.
[22:24] chipsi390: *poke*
[22:24] rhapsodyinspam: nnn.
[22:24] chipsi390: Mwaha.
[22:24] rhapsodyinspam: I surrender.
[22:24] chipsi390: Yay! *sticks a flag up your ( Read more... )

Okay - Texas, honey? This is August. Did you get that? August. Au-gust. I think you might be confused, because you see, it's thundering like crazy outside my window. August is the dry month, remember? Dry? And April is the wet month. I know that can get confusing, since they share one letter, but it's not hard once you get the hang of it. Maybe we ( Read more... )

God, but I love cheesy secret agent commecials ( Read more... )

I hate these. Thus, I'm going to pick one apart. (Yes, I'm aware of the grammar errors.)

( WHAT GIRLS WANT BUT MOST GUYS WONT GIVE )

Dude, who remembers Cow & Chicken from Nickelodeon ( Read more... )